14 de junio de 2011

Man, wachiturro, sos vos, tu vieja

Holamanola, mucho gusto a mi queridísimo pero abandonado blog. Les cuento qué ondas, aprobé el primer boletín oficial (cannot believe it) más allá de no haber estudiado para/aprobado todos los exámenes (por ejemplo hoy tuve uno de Literatura que no estudié y sin embargo me fue genial).
Hoy estábamos discutiendo y, como siempre, los imbéciles pre-maduración de mi grado (como siempre) empezaron a intentar descansarme (INTENTAR, ya que gente que no me lelga ni a los talones no puede hacerlo). Así que empezaron a decir cosas como 'bancáaaaa, man, bajá un cambio', '¿qué nos pasó, men?', 'ah, pero sos vos, eh', '¡VAMO LOS WACHITURRO!' cosa que realmente me da asco. A mí todos me miran raro cuando uso palabras como Bazzinga (The Big Bang Theory) o gestos como el de F·R·I·E·N·D·S, cuando ellos son los asquerosos-hablantes.
Soy una persona bastante obsesiva con respecto a la escritura, la gramática, etcétera. Me jode mucho ver un texto de una persona que no pone tildes, no deja sangría, usa mal  las comas o puntos, etcétera. Más me jode cuando preguntan si tal palabra va con tilde, porque onda ES OBVIO sakljgd. Pero no palabras como xilófono, examen, saturación... palabras como IDÉA, TÍPO, MICROFÍBRA. Les falla la cabeza, quince años al pedo tienen, loco. Dejen el Facebook y sienten el culo en la silla para leer un libro. (Hablando de eso, tengo que leer el Martín Fierro y me da terrible paja, es horrible y hablan raro -y mirá que he leído libros que son raros, eh-. Y el jueves tengo exámen del Mío Cid y realmente no tengo idea de nada.)
No sé por qué mi generación salió tan deforme. Si bien no tengo por qué decirle a alguien que lo que le gusta está mal, me permito (ya que es mi deber), decirle a esa personita de mi colegio que se cree genial por fumar, tomar, tener hasta el pelo del culo planchado (perdón por la expresión, che), piercings grasas, zapatillas con resortes que es ilegal estar unido a la página Fans de la verdadera música y Wisin y Yandel al mismo tiempo, no es aceptable. ¿Por qué tuve que tener un Justin Bieber y no un Kurt Cobain? Fuck.
Estoy poniéndome en campaña para lo del libro. Ya encontré editorial, me falta terminarlo (va a ser largo). Tengo altas ganas de publicarlo, el problema es que es mucho de verdad, por lo tanto estoy buscando información cada dos por tres. He visto documentales, leído libros, tengo tres más para leer, tengo un cuaderno que llevo a la escuela para las ideas... pero me sacan mucho tiempo los exámenes y las tareas, che. Posta. Esta vez no es exageración. Primero del polimodal me está matando, pero lo voy llevando bien.
Voy a terminar de pasar PI que me van a matar, a subirlo y a seguir con el libro, a ver qué se da... deséenme suerte. Voy a hacer lo mejor que pueda (además, me voy a pasar por un par de blogs como antes para revivir a uno de mis amores, mi blog. Te juro amor eterno, blog).
PD: les dejo un par de fotos de Tango para que lo conozcan (aunque no sé si conocen a Lara y Bart)



(Sí, esa fea de acá soy yo)

13 de junio de 2011

I suffer

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE/N ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
 

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I believe i'm PRETTY, so I MUST be conceited.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. 
I have BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm CZECH, so I MUST love beer and sausage and be stubborn.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a MUSICIAN so I MUST ask for money on the streets when playing my guitar.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a BOY who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm a SKATER, so I MUST do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm MIXED, so I MUST be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm WHITE born in a black area, so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs/nuts.
I'm a METALHEAD so I MUST worship SATAN.
I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I'm a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I'm FRENCH so I MUST be snotty towards everyone, wear a striped sweater, and say "Oui, oui!".
I'm a CROSSDRESSER, so I MUST be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANBOY so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I'm a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I MUST be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm EGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I'm HITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
I'm not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT... I MUST be a tree hugging hippie.
I CHAT ONLINE, so I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IMMATURE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology, therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I'm A WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick and I MUST worship the devil.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm STRONG, so I MUST be stupid.
I'm AUSTRALIAN, so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENAISSANCE FAIRS, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.

I'm FRENCH, so I MUST smell horrible.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I LOVE MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DON'T DRINK/SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am FRIENDS WITH A CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I CRY EASILY, so I MUST be a wimp.

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I like YAOI so I MUST pair up every male anime/manga character I see.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.